 Tuesday, June 8, 2004
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Living peacefully on the reservation, the Danh sisters realized they had to fight for their right to live on their land. The American government had begun to take their cattle so that they could not eat and would be forced to relocate to another area. The
government was doing this because of a Nuclear Test Site that was on Western Shoshone and. The tribal people were opposed to the test site because the fallout from the testing had the potential of giving people cancer. Also, to be relocated by taking away the cattle that sustained them without any warning seemed wrong. The tribe had lived on the land for years and the government didn't have a right to move them especially in this
aggressive manner. There was great disregard towards the Native Americans by the workers of the site as they yelled obscenities and foul language at them. I remember
hearing one man yell at an indigenous woman, who was standing quietly near him, "Get off this land you fucking stupid red asses!" The anger within this man was so visible as
his face became beet red while yelling at the woman. This discrimination was not uncommon as it still continues on today for the Danh sisters and Western Shoshone tribe.
Discrimination still lives within our country's walls, despite the efforts of Martin Luther King Jr. who fought for equality in American society.
The African-American rapper, Mos Def discussed his own discrimination on an airplane flight in his song "Mr. Nigga." He says about his flight, "The only brother in sight the flight attendant catch fright/ I sit down in my seat, 2C/...Her lips curl up into a
tight space/ Cause she don't believe that I'm in the right place." This could show discrimination still exists in today's world because Mos Def was being singled out as the only black man in first class. The flight attendant's actions may also insinuate that black people cannot afford to fly first class which may be why she was prompted to ask if the rapper belonged in seat 2C.
I have an African-American friend named Jamal who I've known since childhood. We have had many conversations about the topic of discrimination and he told me at one point that although he was proud to be black sometimes he wished that he were white. I asked him why he felt like this and he told me that if he were white then the police would not bother him. Jamal was a top student in school and was a very kind, gentle human
being. I could not help feeling that it was the discrimination that he felt by the police was what prompted his statement about wanting to be white. In the area where we grew up the police were known for being racist and unjust to minorities.
My own experience with racism and discrimination began when I was seven. My family and I were in the process of moving from Ohio to California when we decided to go have breakfast. We went to a restaurant somewhere in Texas and we were denied service. The people in the restaurant told us that the reason that they would not serve us was because my mom and I were Mexican (my father is Anglo-American). They said about my mother and I "We don't feed your kind here." My father was so furious and I was so hungry. I remember my dad saying aloud to everyone, "We don't need to eat here!" At that moment my pristine world of happiness was shattered. I could not
understand why people would hate me because of what nationality I was. Furthermore, they refused to acknowledge that I was Mexican-American. They only viewed me as Mexican. It has been very important for me to accept both cultures in order to understand my roots and when someone has denied one of them I have felt a sense of discrimination because one of my cultures was not being acknowledged.
Mr. Lovas in a class discussion discussed briefly that Mexicans in the seventies were called "Wetbacks." Well, they were called that in the eighties too. In fourth grade people
at school who were not my classmates called me a "Wetback." Being that I was a sensitive child, I was very distraught and hurt by that word. I was being made fun of as I was viewed as a Mexican in a very derogatory way. When I discussed what was
happening to me in school my dad told me to tell the people who were calling me "Wetback," to say that I had gotten a towel and dried off my back. This advice did not help me at all. I just felt like my dad did not understand and after talking with my mom I
felt like she didn't understand me either.
In all of these experiences with the Western Shoshone Tribe, Jamal, and myself I have gained the strength to stand up for myself and for others that I see are being discriminated against. I know how it feels to be judged by my nationality from other people and it still happens to me in this day and age. Discrimination involves the element of ignorance within the person who does the discriminating of another person or people. I'm actually saddened by this. I tend to take pity on those that discriminate because they do not know
any better. Discriminators can be very narrow-minded people who view other people in stereotypical ways. I just wish that discriminators could open their eyes and wipe the cobwebs from themselves to see the reality in people and not what they want to see.
Through my own experiences and watching other people go through their own struggles with discrimination I find that I am aware of other people and their feelings. Throughout my life I have been an understanding and considerate person because of being treated unjustly by others. I don't ever want to make people feel a sense of lost dignity in the way that derogatory comments can do. I think that my being consciously aware of discrimination on a constant basis has been influential for me in how I treat people.
The year before Bush senior left the presidency he finally shut down the Nuclear Test Site that was on Western Shoshone land. I was so happy! I had gone that year and protested with the Danh sisters and even got arrested to help save their cattle and land. The tribe could remain at ease and peace at least during the time that the test site was shut down. I saw my efforts be greatly rewarded because I felt that at least for some time
justice had been served. No one should have to fight so hard as the Western Shoshone tribe has in order to keep their land. The sad reality is that the government is still discriminating against Native American tribes such as the Western Shoshone. Bush
junior has now re-opened the test site and the fight continues on. I hope that someday we can all live in peace and harmony as ideal as this thought may be. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr. it would be a wonderful day when we could all be "Free at last, Free at last."
Posted by Adriana Worley on 6/8/04; 3:58:56 PM
from the dept.
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| Wednesday, June 2, 2004
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I just got back from Berkeley. I had a job interview near the University and last night I had an interview in the city. They both went well and both are activist jobs. The issue I have is that they are full time positions for the summer and I was looking for part-time work because I will be working full time in the San Jose/Boulder Creek area. The good news is the job in the city will actually hire me if I want when I'm done with my summer job...
This is so stressful trying to relocate from one area to another. I've done this many times yet this transition seems to be harder than other times for me. I think the biggest issue for me is that I have to find work in or near Berkeley in order to make my transition successful. I've been on my own since I was seventeen and during most of my college career I have worked full-time in order to survive. I'm only working part-time right now and my lack of financial stability has taken its' toll.
Does anyone have Calso on June 16? If so, I wouldn't mind taking other people to the orientation.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 6/2/04; 8:32:15 PM
from the dept.
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| Thursday, May 27, 2004
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Jenn -
I'm stressed too! This transition is not so easy at least for me. I'm really concerned with housing right now and I am going this weekend up to my friends house in Berkeley to see what I'm up against. I am also debating between roomates or not. I have lived with roomates from hell and I have also lived with some wonderful people. I understand the concerns with roomates from hell because at least when I was living with my roomates from hell I never wanted to get back into another roomate living situation again. I lived roomate free for about seven years and now I may have to go back into a roomate situation.
The job situation is also very stressful for me. I will have to work while going to school so I'm looking for work in the Walnut Creek, Orinda, and Albany areas. Agh!!!!
When are you doing Calso?
I'm going on the sixteenth of June.
See you in class.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/27/04; 1:15:15 PM
from the dept.
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| Wednesday, May 26, 2004
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I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Berkeley in the fall. I'm looking for housing now!!! I'm going this weekend to go look for a place near school. I'm glad that you feel a little bit more at ease about where your headed. It is nice to talk to people who have already experienced the transition of changing schools and kind of letting you in on what to expect. I have a friend who has been there for a year and she's been filling me in with whatever questions I have. If you want to talk about Berkeley let me know...
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/26/04; 5:53:21 PM
from the dept.
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With every deadline I am waiting until the last minute to submit whatever paperwork I am supposed to turn in and I'm feeling great anxiety over it. I've done this with college applications, graduation, and now poetry submissions.
I have just submitted three works of poetry and a black a white drawing as my entry to DeAnza's literary magazine, The Red Wheelbarrow. I had to write a formal cover letter for my entry as well. Here are the peoms that I have submitted:
Opossum
I am merely a youth
Yet, I have seen the mountain lions
Chase my sisters up a tree
Except for one who died slowly
Half eaten with the blood surrounding her
The markings on my neck
Tell the story of how a dog
Once chased me, attacking me
I escaped and ran for cover
Inside a log that was too small for that dog
However, it is the danger of
The lights
That causes more injury
To my kind
As I come down the mountain
In search of food, I see
The lights coming
Closer to me and I stand here
And now I lay here
In my pool of blood
Dying, confused, alone
A Frog Sestina
Hopping in the grass
Big one, little ones
Escaping my hands
I chase them
Hoping to capture
A big, green frog
Little frogs
Huddle underneath the grass
Uncaptured
I could see them
In my hands
My callused hands
Reach for a pair of frogs
Ready to touch them
As they sit still in the grass
They look like slimy ones
Anticipating their capture
Distracted, my eyes capture
A frog croaking near my hand -
It is a little one
Trying to attract another frog
Somewhere within the grass
And then I see them -
I see them,
And I capture
In the blades of grass
Your hands
Covered with frogs
I got one!
I thought I had one
Yet as I look at them
I realize that a big, green frog
Has captured
My hands
In the flattened grass
Darkness blends the frog with the grass
I can feel the frog on my hand
The big green frog - captured
Buddy
(My Chihuahua/Terrier dog)
The cold of winter lurks within my house
There is a chill that seeps into our bones
Upon the cat asleep there lay a mouse
As we all shiver close together, not alone
Upon the bed a blanket lay
That may into the night behold delight
I feel the warmth in me has gone away
As we cuddle in bed without a fight
The cats, the dogs, the mouse, and rabbit too,
Are quite the sight in bed all fast asleep
And quietly my head rests calm, I drool
Amongst them sleeping, stirring without a peep
Yet petting Buddy makes him snarl and growl
Into silence he bites me while dreaming of waterfowl.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/26/04; 5:39:31 PM
from the dept.
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| Monday, May 24, 2004
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Ah!!!!!! I have to present a poet tomorrow. I originally had planned on doing it on Alice Walker. I have all the information I need and I even know which poems I want to bring to class. The issue actually is that I thought that I would maybe change my poet and talk about a Native American poet. Here's where my frustration begins. I can't find anything on any of the poets that I may want to discuss in class on the web,library, or bookstore. I have gone to only two stores yet I would think that there would be something!
North America and Latin America were founded by indigenous people and they are a part of our history and culture. I myself am an 1/8th Huasteca(an indigenous tribe). There isn't much information on anyone really except for the more popular Native Americans such as Red Cloud,Sacajawea , andTecumseh. The other issue that comes up is how authentic are these books. It's so easy for me to get side tracked especially if I can't find what I'm looking for. Due to the tradition of oration it is actually difficult to know what was real and what was not. An example of this is Chief Seattle's famous speech. There are several versions of it and even an environmental version written by a guy named Ted that forever imprinted on the minds of those who read his virsion as the true words of Chief Seattle.
Something else I found interesting was in looking at the history section of Borders there isn't anything on the history of Indigenous people anywhere. There are a number books on different cultures represented but not a thing on Native American history. Ok I could keep going but I'm going to go way out there and I began this because I cannot find any of the Native American poets that I want to discuss in class. I just needed to vent my frustration.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/24/04; 1:47:13 PM
from the dept.
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I found your opus witty and in some places quite funny. The experience with your dad and your 4th grade project was sad yet that experience seemed to be an important lesson for you in that you learned that you cannot always win the approval of a parent no matter how hard you try or how good something may be.
The comics experience is interesting and shows how you got interested in computers at such a young age. It shows where you've been but I would be interested in reading about where your interest in computers will take you or better yet where you want it to take you.
Your doing great in math!!!!
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/24/04; 1:18:19 PM
from the dept.
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This is in response to the post about maid abuse that Mark posted. I kind of went on my own tangent as far as the whole issue of having maids is concerned.
The abuse that poor woman endured was horrific to say the least. I wonder what the stats are for maid abuse. Do you know how common this is? In Latin America it is common to have maids as well. It is a part of the culture that I have a hard time with. I was raised here and have become somewhat Americanized. I am very independant yet I get so conflicted when my aunt's maid fixes my bed or washes my dishes etc. Everything is done for you. I'm not used to that and the pay that maids receive isn't very much. Just to put the pay issue into perspective Tonlla my aunt's maid, made a quarter of the money to get her mom a Christmas gift. Her other 3 sibilings pitched in to get this present for their mom. Guess what the present was... a front door to their mom's house. They live in the poverty belt. Whenever I leave a relatives home I always give the maids extra money because I know that they are very poor (usually maids are indigenous people that live in the poverty belt of Mexico). They are so appreciative of the money.
My mom's sister is into "status" and my aunt's maid is below her in rank. Due to this the maid is not allowed to eat with the family and is kind of looked lowly upon even though she is the one that keeps the family running! Another one of my aunts treats her maids more like family. This is rare. The treatment of the maids in Latin America is not the same across the board and I highly doubt that there would be any common knowledge of maid abuse happening. I'm sure it does happen though. These people work long hours for little pay and hardly see their families. The working conditions are not great yet it is interesting in seeing how cultures are similar in some ways and different in others.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/24/04; 12:47:25 PM
from the dept.
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| Sunday, May 23, 2004
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Here is my poem. It is a sestina. In a sestina there are 6 words chosen for the whole poem. These words are used throughout the poem at the end of each line. For each stanza the order of the words is changed. It is a challenging poetic form. This is not the sestina that I have written but it was a lot of fun.
The words that I used for my poem are: butterflies, breeze, calm, poetry, walk, connecting
Flying butterflies
In the breeze
Are peaceful, calm,
Dancing poetry
In the distance I walk
I am connecting
Connecting
With butterflies
I walk
Into a breeze
Singing songs of poetry
Becoming calm
Calm,
Connecting,
Poetry,
The yellow butterflies
Dive in the breeze
Behind them I walk
The long walk
Brings a calm
Soothing breeze
Connecting
The butterflies
Like beautiful poetry
The words of poetry
On our walk
Makes me long to see butterflies
Sitting calm
Connecting
In the breeze
The breeze
Is poetry
Connecting
With me as I walk
Into the calm
World of butterflies
A breeze surrounds me on our walk
Poetry flows calm
Connecting me with nature and butterflies
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/23/04; 4:21:01 PM
from the dept.
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| Tuesday, May 18, 2004
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The Pain Within
RED
The color of blood
Seeps through my fingers
Like paint that glides
Furiously over paper
As I watch the knife fall to the floor.
The tears stream down my face like a river's constant flow that seems to never end. The pain inside of me becomes so unbearable that I feel like dying and ending it all. I'm
not scared of death because it is a place I long to be. My feelings overwhelm me. The chaos of all my problems escalate to a point that I can no longer cope with them. I am alone and I can not connect with anyone. I have a hard time letting people in due to my lack of trust for them. Everyone that I know does not understand how I feel or comprehend what is happening to me. They don't care. I don't care. Life is so difficult! The emotional pangs of my parents statements thrown at me such as "I love you but I do not like you. I do not know why anyone else would like you," hurts so much. The shame I feel about the molestation infests every inch of my body making me worthless and lost. The issue of control resonates in my thoughts every time I am not allowed to do anything. My parents do not hear me and the communication within this household seems to have come to a screeching halt. My freedom is gone as I am a prisoner in my own home! All of these thoughts rushing through my head reopens my wounds as hopelessness sets in and creates a destructive path in which I am embarking on. I reach over for the knife and contemplate suicide as I think about the impact my suicide will have on everyone including myself.
In Dave Egger's A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius the subject of suicide arises when a character named John decides he is going to attempt to kill himself. In front of a police officer John makes his dramatic attempt, "There's a lunge and John grabs the pills on the table and swallows all of them." Although the reader can perceive this action as a sign of needing or wanting attention not all suicide attempts are for this reason. At times the attention reason is all that I hear people focus on but I think that there is so much more involved than attention. I can only discuss my own suicide attempts which there were three and what it was that I was going through at the time.
Deep down an emotional chaos can exist and being able to deal with that chaos can be difficult even when seeing a therapist. By the time I got to a therapist I was so guarded of my feelings due to everything that I had gone through. Trust was not easy for me and it took me a year and a half to really begin talking with my therapist. I had to deal with an alcoholic father and a co-dependant mother that were emotionally abusive and eventually my dad sexually abused me too. The sexual abuse happened only once but it has had a lasting impact on my life. The abuse from both of my parents were different but each had a profound affect on my life and each contributed to my wanting to kill myself.
I endured a lot of verbal negativity from both of my parents which in turn made me feel like I was the worst human being on earth. Each hurtful word was another blow that would accumulate inside of me creating the pain I felt. As the pain gradually worsened I began feeling hopeless. It was as I call it a continuing spiral downwards into the depths of extreme emotional pain that not everyone can understand or feel. The hopelessness would agitate any emotional distress I was feeling. I felt like I was lost within a murky swamp not being able to find my way out. It was this feeling of not being able to find my way out that ultimately led me down the path in attempting suicide.
In A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius after a conversation with Meredith about John's wanting to kill himself Dave says about John, "He's just looking for attention." This is a common attitude and in some cases it may be true. The kind of attitude that Dave has towards John was what enabled the downward spiral that I discussed earlier to not only continue but it aided in my wanting to go through with a suicide attempt. The reason was because the attention reasoning only added to the downward spiral. I already felt miserable and this made me feel more miserable. I had the attitude of no one really cares about me and the attention statement in my mind proved my reasoning about no one caring about me. In attempting suicide I really did want to die. I was not trying to kill myself for attention. I was not acting or pretending that my lack of emotional stability existed or did not exist. The emotional turmoil really did dwell within me. I could actually physically feel the pain in my chest. I was trying to find a solution for my problems that would not go away.
After several years of living with my parents, I moved out at the age of seventeen. By the time I was nineteen I had been going to therapy for five years in order to deal with all of the issues that had been living inside of me. The issues were my demons. I dealt with them and let them go. I realize now that my suicidal tendencies were directly correlated with how my parents treated me. All feelings of suicide no longer exist and in looking back those feelings died soon after moving out of my parents home. Yet I have dealt with losing two people to suicide. One was my cousin Berry and another was one of my dearest friends Jon who in my last suicide attempt saved my life. I know what it is like to be on both sides now. I only wish that I could have saved Jon's life like he had saved mine.
The knife's sharp blade begins to touch my soft olive skin. I can not control the tears from falling off of my face as I feel that life is not worth living. No one will miss me and no one will care. The world is better without me. My parents will not even remember me when I'm gone. I'm not needed here at all so why should I be here - living. Soon after the blade touches my skin I hear a meow. It's Malachite my cat. She jumps into my lap and startles me. She begins to lick all of my tears that have covered my face and I cry even harder. I cry because I realize that someone does care. She loves me unconditionally like no one else does and I can't leave her here. She depends on me and I depend on her for the love that is not being filled by anyone. Malachite touches my heart so deeply that I place the knife next to me on the floor and fall into a deep sleep with my cat purring next to me.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/18/04; 12:51:26 PM
from the dept.
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| Monday, May 17, 2004
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The subject that I am tackling for my expressive paper this time around has to do with the subject of suicide. In Eggers book there is a character named John who attempts to kill himself. I thought that this would be a great topic to discuss in my paper. I realize that it is morbid and possibly a subject that some people have a hard time talking about. Yet I feel compelled to discuss it since I have lost two people to suicide and have even attempted it myself. I feel like I understand the feelings involved and how someone is able to reach the point of not wanting to live. It is a scary and sad situation no matter from what perspective suicide is looked at...
I am concerned about the Magnum Opus draft that we have to turn in on Tuesday. I think I am doing an outline of it instead of a draft. I am not sure where to begin and I feel overwhelmed by the whole thing. This is why I procrastinated in doing it.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/17/04; 4:11:21 PM
from the dept.
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| Tuesday, May 11, 2004
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I wanted to respond to Jane's posting as well. Family expectations can be very difficult to live up to especially when you have other ideas that may conflict with what your family may want you to live up to. It can be a balancing act yet sometimes it is not possible to balance both expectations and dreams. I had issues with this with my family during high school and it was not easy by any means. I am a strong person and I stood my ground realizing that I may never have the approval of my parents in anything that I do. I don't recommend this in all situations but I had to let go of my parents and their expectations for me in order to thrive and live. My parents weren't thrilled but now as quite a bit of time has passed they are accepting me for what it is that I want to do and not what they want me to do. I'll tell you though when this was first happening this was where I learned that I had a voice to speak and my own ground to stand upon. It sounds like this is a struggle for you but I have no doubt that you will find that balance that you need as this can be a hard road to go down. Compromise may be what will happen but I know that you can find your way in the path that you need to walk on.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/11/04; 1:25:56 PM
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On the news this morning the report was that a 26 year old man was beheaded by islamic extremists. I can understand why this can be upsetting to people in this country as I am saddened by this action. Yet as soon as this news broke the reporters started to say that what happened to the Iraqi men wasn't to the level of this beheading. It was as you said in your response to my original blog about people justifying these wrongs by trying to prove they've been wronged themselves. We did an oppressive action to the other side and now the other side has done an oppressive action towards us. I listened to people trying to lessen the tragedy about the abusive behavior of the U.S. soldiers as though it was nothing and the beheading was the worst thing to happen. In all reality, my reality is that both situations are tragic and neither has less value than the other. This is merely my opinion but I just find it ironic that you posted about the attitude that people can have despite any kind of oppression that one may have gone through and now it is being acted out. Some people really are numb and this is scary to me since compassion seems to have taken a backseat to all that is going on in our world.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/11/04; 1:05:52 PM
from the dept.
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| Monday, May 10, 2004
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I just finished reading Maus 1 and Maus 2 yesterday. I found that after reading 1 I had to read 2. The first book just leaves you hanging in the middle of the story and I wanted to find out how the story ends. I found this to be a moving story that not only deals with the holocaust but it also deals with war and how people survive during this kind setting that is oppressive and can be abusive. On page 54 of book one the sentences that I'm using for my sentence collection are "I'm not going to die, and I won't die here! I want to be treated like a human being!" As I reflect on these statements my thoughts wander to the current war and the pictures of the Iraqi men in very vulnerable and humiliating positions as the American soldiers just look on. I imagine and wonder if this sentence taken from Maus is what the Iraqi men in the photos may feel among other things and why was the rest of the world shown these pictures before the American public even knew about them? I can answer that question but it's not the direction that I want to take this blog. I can believe that this happened yet I seem to place myself in the shoes of the victim to try and understand what it must be like for them in the oppressive situation that they are dealing with. I have had to deal with my own oppressive situation growing up at home which is what makes it easy for me to immediately try to understand what these people are going through. Yet I don't know fully as I have never had several people place me in a position so humiliating as those American soldiers placed the Iraqi men in. What also scares me is that there are women and children in that prison. How many rapes have happened to them? I was talking with Mr. Lovas about this today and he said that the Coalition is sweeping up all kinds of people and it's just the luck of the draw if you are in that sweep. This is exactly what is happening in the Maus books. The Jews were being swept up including the women and the children. What I'm left with in looking at this is just a great deep sadness that the process of what Hitler was doing to the Jews may be what we are doing to the Iraqi's excluding the gas chamber. It's just a thought...
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/10/04; 3:21:59 PM
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This is in response to Aesun Kim's last blog.
Aesun first of all I think that it is great that you can talk about how you feel about discussions and the intimidation that you sometimes feel in your classes. It shows your human side and strength in just sharing your feelings. I can empathize with how you feel. There have been times in my life when other people have made me feel intimidated during a discussion as well. It's a comfort zone kind of thing for me. I have written down phrases and sometimes sentences during discussions to keep myself on track and not lose myself. I find that this happens when my confidence level goes down. I would love to hear what you have to say even if it is on the fence on certain issues because I'm sure that there are others that may feel similar to what you have to say.
The other thing that I wanted to say was that you discuss the style of teaching that Mr. Lovas is using. I think his purpose is to help us get ready for the next stage in our academic lives in a University. I think he's trying to help us in the transition and get us ready for what is to come. At the University our hands are not being held meaning that we are not told how to do things we just do them. It's a learning process and in transfering it could and can be a shock in getting into that kind of environment . I think Lovas is trying to lessen that shock.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/10/04; 2:50:26 PM
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One of the things that struck me about this article is that the author assumes that kids now a days are "uninspired by the notion of earning," money. Although there are some children that are this way as she describes she only uses her nieces and nephew as examples of kids who are disinterested in earning a buck. Also her theories on the parents of these kids and the kids attitudes is one of two things. It is invariably black and white which I don't agree with, seeing that there can and probably is a grey area. She says the reason for these kids being the way that they are is out of protection or the world is too dangerous. Furthermore, she compares herself to her nieces and nephew in regards to this issue. I wonder if maybe there is a generation gap issue going on here. I just felt that the speaker seemed somewhat out of touch because of her lack of evidence. I know a lot of kids in the age group that she is discussing and what I have found is that there is a mixed bag with this issue. There are a few kids that I know that fit the description that she talks about yet there are others that don't and do have the motivation and willingness to earn money. Then there are the kids that do both sometimes they want to earn money and sometimes they could care less. I think it depends upon the person that you speak to as far as what value is placed on any interest in making money and not necessarily grouping people as a whole.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 5/10/04; 2:19:29 PM
from the dept.
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| Thursday, April 29, 2004
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Expressive paper #1
The Future of Our Lives
As I drove up into the driveway the realization of how tired I was overcame me, yet I knew that I needed to make dinner due to the fact that it was very close to dinnertime. The excitement filled within me as I started to conjure up the evening feast for everyone in the house to enjoy. An asparagus casserole was the first thing I decided on as well as chili and a yogurt fruit dish to top off the meal. While I continued on scheming my master plan for dinner with my creative juices flowing I heard the phone ring and decided to pick it up. The casserole was cooking and I could begin the chili when I was off the phone. This was what I thought anyway. It was Jennifer one of my closest friends who
is watching my Pit Bull, Nira for a short period of time. Jennifer sounded a little down and I thought that she may have just come home from the doctor as I began questioning her about it. I quickly learned that the reason for the call was not her doctors'
appointment at all instead it had to do with Nira. She told me that Nira died just a short time before she called and that I might want to come pay my last respects to my dog. As I got off the phone the tears swelled up in my eyes and streamed down my face as I began to go numb. It was at this point in time that I began to think about what life might be like after death and how my dog and I fit into this inevitable part of life.
In Homer's The Odyssey there is a chapter on life after death giving a depiction of what life could be like after we die. Odysseus' mother tells Odysseus about the afterlife
as she say to him, "this is just the way of mortals when we die. / Sinews no longer bind the flesh and bones together- / the fire in all it fury burns the body down to ashes/ once life slips from the white bones, and the spirit, / rustling, fitters away." Although this may give the reader a strong conviction of definitiveness in how the afterlife may be through this passage I am not certain that this is how it really is. The reality is that no one really knows until it happens to him/her if in fact a paradise truly exists. Yet I have my own beliefs in regards to death and what the afterlife is like after death.
My belief system about death stems from my Native American heritage as well as my Anglo heritage. I feel that once death happens it is not the end of life just a different
continuation of it in a form that may not be understood to those of us that still have breathe within us. I believe that once someone is buried that his/her burial site is sacred and should be treated with great respect. I also believe that because of this sacredness that once someone is buried they should not be unearthed as this disturbs the sacredness of the grave and the being that dwells within it. It is a taboo to disturb a grave and is a
sign of disrespect. Also, I believe in funerals as this is a way to grieve and heal from the loss of a loved one.
The only thing that I agree with about death in the chapter on life after death in The Odyssey is that once someone dies he/she still lives on and is able to interact among the dead as well as at times with the living. For example, I used to take care of a four year old child named Isaiah who had lung cancer. When he died his spirit came to my home and started playing hide and seek with me. His spirit scared me as I felt just like
Odysseus when the dead surrounded him "hordes of them, thousands raising unearthly cries,/ and blanching terror gripped me - panicked now." This was proof enough for me to believe in an afterlife and have since had other experiences that lead me to believe that an afterlife exists.
In the afterlife I believe that it is a place that is filled with happiness beyond our comprehensive belief of happiness. God tells us that his kingdom is a wonderful place. Also, the Great Spirit tells us that our spirits continue on as we remain connected with life after death. I believe in both. The afterlife is a place in which peace reigns a glorious face where people and creatures are treated with respect as they are shown equality
through compassion. Also, I believe that when one dies he/she will once again see all of the people and creatures that have passed on before him/her. This is my consolation when someone in my life dies. Our friends, family, and pets wait for us in the afterlife which is part of what makes it a wonderful place. Lastly, I think that there are rules that one must follow yet those rules aren't necessarily the same rules that we follow on earth. I don't know why I think this yet something inside of me tells me this. I'm not sure what those rules may be but if I were to guess I think they would have to do with respect, love, and peace. This is what would happen in the world of life after death.
I took the casserole out of the oven and called my mom to tell her the news. I then called my roommate to tell him about Nira. I left everything in the kitchen in a disarray as I did not know what to do with myself. This was my baby. She was my tepin (Nahuatl language from the Native American tribe I am a part of meaning little one). I drove up to Boulder Creek and reached Jennifer's house. Rufus came up to me and licked
me as it became apparent that something was different. Nira was no longer there. She was not there to greet me and lick me in pure happiness. She was gone and already buried. As I walked over to her gravesite and shared the amazing stories of how she not only touched my life but the lives of everyone she came into contact with including the children that loved her I could not help but feel that her life had been too short. She just
turned a year old approximately a week and a half ago. I had so many hopes in living with this dog until she reached a ripe old age and had a full life. Yet, I finally realized that she did have a full life as she was loved very well throughout her life. My only
consolation in my loss is that one day soon or not so soon when I die I will see her again wagging her tail, hugging me while she licks my face in complete joy as we are reunited in paradise once again.
Posted by Adriana Worley on 4/29/04; 4:01:17 PM
from the dept.
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I'm finally on!
Posted by Adriana Worley on 4/29/04; 3:26:30 PM
from the dept.
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