red flags
Things that will tip you off to whether Domestic Violence is happening
1. Everyone close to the victim and perpetrator knew that something was very wrong in the relationship but did not intervene. They did not ask the appropriate follow up questions. They must ask victims if they are fearful of the perpetrator and why? They should always ask if there are deadly weapons in the home. They must seek to safely intervene (assist the victim in calling a woman’s shelter of seeking domestic violence information, call law enforcement, encourage victim’s to call law enforcement to remove firearms) in these relationships.
2. Perpetrators of deadly domestic violence have several characteristics, which were evident in many of the 6 deaths we reviewed. They are:
A. Prior threats of homicide and or suicide - 5 cases
B. Victim talked about divorce or separation and the perpetrator cannot tolerate it – 6 cases
C. He or she was unraveling in front of everyone’s eyes i.e. sleeplessness, loss or imminent loss of job, no real friendships (perpetrator), possessing guns, talking about dying, depression (sadness), extremely upset about life, mood swings, prior false imprisonments – 6 cases
D. They hit or threatened to hit the victim at least once and in most cases more than once before the death occurred, or had used violence with previous partner – 4 cases
E. The perpetrator engaged in controlling and obsessive behavior (following the victim, checking his/her whereabouts constantly, monitoring their phone calls, limiting their friendships, handling all the money, making all the family decisions) – 5 cases
F. Extreme jealousy/possessiveness – 5 cases
3. Handguns were used in two of the deaths. Those individuals possessing guns and using or threatening violence are a clear danger to themselves and everyone around them.
4. Deaths occurred in nearly every jurisdiction in this county and have involved different racial and socio-economic groups. In fact those individuals from the middle/upper middle and higher economic strata made up the majority of the deaths (5 out of 6). We must be cognizant of the fact that domestic violence is not a poor person’s problem, it is everyone’s problem. Domestic violence death also does not care how old you are, so our elders are also at risk.
5. Children are the most vulnerable in our society. If they express real fear of a parent, we must act. When children appear vulnerable and in danger of abuse or neglect all mandated reporters must report to the Child Abuse Hotline at DFCS.
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