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Online Tutoring Handbook

FINAL DRAFT: OWAC HANDBOOK

I. WHAT TO DO BEFORE YOU READ THE ESSAY

FORUM INFORMATION / GETTING STARTED: . Go to the Online Writing Assistance Center (OWAC) web site:

http://deanza.etudes.fhda.edu/etudes.cgi?request,logframe!cs_id,2089018456!

. Log in to the OWAC by entering your User ID + Password. Enter the Administration code (code = diana) when prompted. You must take further action to Log in to FORUMS itself. Logging in will allow you to go back and edit or delete your replies later (as well as other mysterious editing powers). To log in, click on the FORUMS page. Select the “log in” button at the upper left-hand corner of the page, and enter Tutor_Firstname; Tutor_Firstname for both your Username + Password (NOTE: You can enter Tutor_Firstname under Username, and then copy/cut/paste the same information into Password). When you log in, your name should appear as Tutor_firstname next to all your posted responses. If your posted response name appears as a yellow “G”, you have logged in incorrectly. Contact Diana if you are having problems logging in.

. Click on the ESSAY CENTER link (located in FORUMS) and click on the oldest unresponded-to essay or question. ·In order to let the student and other tutors know that you are working on a response, respond immediately. Write “Essay currently being reviewed by Tutor ______ (your name here)” as the subject head of your response. ·Copy and paste the essay into a text editor such as MS Word. It is better not to compose in the text box, since your hard work could be accidentally deleted.

·Begin your response with a friendly, positive greeting that summarizes 2-3 areas (no more!) that you identified as needing improvement. Include references to the appropriate web sites. To help you resist editing the paper, there are sample responses with links to web sites for greetings, key areas of content, and various aspects of grammar in this handbook.

·Add your intertext comments within the essay either in ALL CAPS or by cutting and pasting color or bolding tags from the funky HTML guide within the Forums (click html reference for the popup window).

·When you have completed your response, use “Essay Review Completed” in your subject head. CHECKING YOUR MESSAGES:

. Next check your messages. At this time we don’t have a way of knowing if a student has sent an essay to you individually or to all of the tutors. So, before you begin your response, send an e-mail to the other tutors saying that you are responding to the essay. Be sure to identify the essay clearly. . If your tutoring was done through Messages, copy Sandy and Diana in your response.

. When a new student essay or question is posted in the FORUM, you should receive an e-mail. If you don’t receive an e-mail notification, please e-mail Diana and let her know. However, if a student sends an essay to you through MESSAGES, you will NOT receive an e-mail. Thus it is advisable to check your messages frequently during your designated tutoring times.

·If you have not completed responding to the essay in 45 minutes, you need to wrap up your comments within the next 15 minutes. ·Finally, reward yourself with some kind of treat when you are finished; online tutoring is hard work! :) A NOTE ON KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR TUTORING HOURS:

To keep track of the hours you accrue tutoring each month, stay logged on to the OWAC while you are writing up your response in a text editor (such as MS Word). This way Susan can track the time you spend tutoring. However, it is also a good idea--and strongly recommended-- to keep track of your hours on paper by writing up a monthly timesheet (see Susan for timesheet questions) just in case of computer glitches.

II. HOW TO READ THE ESSAY 1. You should read the essay two times before you respond. On the first read, think about these topics, which are all related to CONTENT. Identify 2-3 areas (no more than 3) that need improvement: ·        Understood/Addressed goal of assignment ·        Introduction ·        Thesis ·        Organization ·        Evidence to support the thesis ·        Paragraph development ·        Paragraph structure

2. On the second read, pay attention to GRAMMAR / MECHANICS. As with the first read, identify 2-3 areas (no more than 3) that need improvement. Specifically, you should look for errors that interfere with meaning: ·        Word order in the sentence ·        Verb tense ·        Confusing word choice ·        Very confusing spelling The following errors are less likely to interfere with meaning. Nevertheless, if a student is consistent in any of these errors, the error and a link to a web site explaining the error should be mentioned in your response: ·        Article mistakes ·        Incorrect preposition choice ·        Pronoun agreement ·        Comma errors ·        Minor spelling mistakes

III. HOW TO RESPOND TO THE ESSAY (NOTE: Most of the examples are from an essay that Katie worked on.)

PLAGIARISM: Let’s say that in your reading of a student essay, something about the paper doesn’t seem “quite right”--for example, the writing seems to demonstrate capabilities beyond the student’s level, or the paper abruptly swtiches from consistent errors to perfectly written prose--in this case, you must check the essay for plagiarism. It is a sad reality that certain students might attempt to take advantage of the online system by passing off another’s work as their own. At other times, a student might plagiarize out of his/her misunderstanding of citing sources and paraphrasing. Whatever the case, both the student and the OWAC need to be aware of plagiarism if it happens. We are in the process of looking into computer programs that might detect plagiarized work, but in the meantime, the following links contain some useful information on plagiarism, how to spot plagiarism, and point you to areas that can help you determine if a paper has been plagiarized:

http://www.plagiarized.com http://www.robcol.k12.tr/library/teachers/detectplagiarism.htm#When%20you%20su spect%20plagiarism:

http://www.teachers.ash.org.au/aussieed/plagiarism.htm

If you determine the essay has been plagiarized, contact the instructor if possible. If you cannot contact the instructor, contact both Sandy and Diana and turn the paper over to them. UNDERSTOOD/ADDRESSED THE GOAL OF THE ASSIGNMENT: Most students do understand/address the goal of the assignment, but if a student has not understood/addressed the goal of an assignment, you need to let the student know. A good way to determine if a student has understood the assignment: make sure the student has sent a statement detailing the goal of the assignment along with his/her essay. On your first read, keep the assignment goal in mind. If the essay reads as off topic, contact the student before responding to the paper entirely.

Here is a sample response: After reading your essay, I am not sure if you completely understood/addressed the goal of the assignment. It seems to me that your paper addresses X, while the assignment asks you to address Y. Please check with your instructor to be sure that you are on the right track.

IV. WRITING YOUR RESPONSE Once you have read through the essay two times and compiled your notes, you are ready to get started with your e-mail response. Remember, write up your initial response in a text editor, such at MS Word. When you are finished, cut/paste your response into the online e-mail text box. It is better not to compose in the text box, since your hard work could be accidentally deleted.

GREETING:

1. Begin your response to the essay with a friendly and positive greeting. Point out 1-2 strong areas of the essay before focusing on the problem areas of the essay. A student is much more likely to accept constructive criticism if a tutor responds positively.

Here is a sample response: Hi Jane-- This is Katie, your online tutor. Thank you for submitting your paper to me for review. As a fan of yoga, myself, I found your essay enjoyable to read and very informative. You provide an insightful view on the history of yoga, and offer your reader many fresh and exciting ideas about your topic. Good work! 2. Next identify the 2 or 3 areas (3 maximum) that you will address in your response and provide links to (if appropriate).   Here is a sample response: Since you have a strong first draft, I think it should be no problem for you to revise ______ (identify the 2 or 3 key areas) to make your essay even stronger. I have put some comments about these key content areas and ______ (identify the 2 or 3 grammar errors) IN CAPITAL LETTERS into the body of your paper. I have also provided links to sites that I hope you will find helpful for this essay and for any essays you write in the future.

INTRODUCTION: If you identify errors in the introduction, consider this sample response:

Your introduction provides many great insights. I like how you introduce the topic, the tone of your essay, and your thesis statement. However, I wonder if your introduction might be stronger if you narrowed some of your ideas and focused on presenting your thesis. It is good to think of an introduction as three parts: (1) A catchy opening (a lead in) (2) A brief introduction of your topic (a tie-in) (3) The thesis statement (the argument you will discuss in your essay)

Here are two links to information on introductions: http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm This web site lists: . Things NOT to do in an introductory paragraph . 5 techniques to use when writing an introduction & gives examples . Historical review . Anecdotal . Surprising statement . Famous person . Declarative 

The second link you might find useful is: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/introductions.htm This site has these subheads: . The role of introductions . Why bother writing a good introduction . Strategies for writing an effective introduction . Options for introductions . An intriguing example . A provocative quotation . A puzzling scenario . A vivid and perhaps unexpected anecdote . A thought provoking question . 5 Kinds of less effective introductions 

THESIS: If you identify errors in the thesis statement, consider this sample response:   You present some interesting opinions about your topic, but your paper cries out for a strong thesis statement. Think of the thesis as the HEART of the essay; the thesis keeps your essay “alive” by controlling all ideas in the essay, and tying all examples together into a clearly focused statement. You open your essay with the following: The word "yoga" in India means "union," which is about the connection among mind, body and spirit. And you close your introduction with: Then yoga went with Buddhism to other Asian countries, including China. After reading your paper, I identified countless great examples that expanded on these two topics: the history of Yoga, and its many benefits to the people who practice Yoga. Think about clarifying your thesis statement. You might think about combining the two ideas--the history of Yoga, the benefits of Yoga--into a clearly defined thesis statement.

For more information on writing a clear thesis, take a look at this link: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_thesis.html          This site gives tips on general thesis statements. It also discusses ways to write a thesis for a specific assignment, such as an analytical, expository (explanatory), or argumentative essay.

Another link you might find useful is:

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html This site says that a thesis: . Is an assertion, not a statement of fact or an observation . Takes a stand rather than announcing a subject . Is the main idea, not the title . Is narrow, rather than broad . Is specific rather than vague or general . Has one main point rather than several main points. There is a poor example and an effective example for each characteristic.

EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE THESIS: If a student is lacking examples (evidence) to support his/her thesis, or if the evidence presented is off topic, consider this response:

You have written an effective thesis, and you make good points that support the thesis in Paragraphs 2 and 3. However, the evidence in Paragraph 4 doesn't seem to support the thesis. I think you might find the following link helpful: http://writing.colostate.edu/references/processes/peerreview/developsupport.cf m         

This site asks these questions:      . Is each main point/idea made by the writer clearly developed and explained? . Is the support/evidence for each point/idea persuasive and appropriate? . Is the connection between the support/evidence, main point/idea, and the overall point of the essay made clear? . Is all evidence adequately cited?

PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE:

When a student has too many ideas in one paragraph, or no discernible paragraphs, you might consider this response:

Your paper is brimming over with excellent insights and examples. I can tell a lot of research went into this paper. Providing evidence to support the thesis statement is one of the most important things a writer can do in her/his paper. Working on organizing those ideas into clear paragraphs will allow your ideas to stand out more clearly. Just to review, a paragraph contains: · a topic sentence that clearly states one main idea · supporting details that expand the topic sentence (which contains the main idea) Each paragraph should develop ONE main idea that supports your thesis statement. Separate points should be developed in separate paragraphs. Following this format will help your reader to connect your ideas to one another and to your thesis. You might want to consider the following questions when you revise: · Are your ideas focused on the thesis? · Does each paragraph develop your thesis with appropriate explanations? · Do you provide enough information in each paragraph that clearly presents your ideas to the reader? · Can you eliminate any off topic information? The link below discusses paragraph structure: the topic sentence, supporting sentences, the concluding sentence, and the importance of details in the paragraph: http://lrs.ed.uiuc.edu/students/fwalters/para.html   PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT/EXPLANATIONS OF QUOTES & TERMS USED:

Sometimes a student might fail to provide thorough explanation of terms, quotations, or ideas used in his/her essay. Consider the following sample response to a student who had trouble explaining terminology in her essay:

You might want to look at the terminology you have used in each section and make sure you are providing enough explanation for each term. Remember, it is best not to assume that your reader knows as much as you do about your subject. Therefore, it is helpful to provide thorough explanations of all support (quotes, terms, and examples) given in your essay. Specifically, you might want to think about expanding the explanations of certain terms used in your essay: For example, in your Introduction, who or what are "yogi"? People who practice yoga? Do you think all readers are familiar with this term? Should you provide a definition?

In Section 11, you write:

“Wushu generally has three types: Shaolin style Long Fist (Chang Quan), Traditional Fist, and Tai-Chi (Taijiquan), an internal style”.

What are these styles? Again, do you think all readers are familiar with these terms? How do they relate to Yoga? The link below gives a good explanation of the importance of details. It also discusses the topic sentence, supporting sentences, and the concluding sentence: http://lrs.ed.uiuc.edu/students/fwalters/para.html When a student does not provide sufficient explanation of quotations used in his/her essay, consider this sample response:

As I mentioned before, you know how to use quotes from the story well. However, sometimes you should provide more explanation for each quotation to make sure your reader is clear about why you are using that particular quote. For example, in your first paragraph, you state: “His hands were strange to him, and not until sometime had passed did he realize that the pods were numbing his fingers” (p. 121). Your explanation is: This tells us Arnold had unusually feeling that makes his hands not belong to him. A little more information would be great. What do you mean by “unusual feeling that makes his hands not belong to him”? Is this a physical reaction to the stress of the accident? An emotional reaction? How does this “unusual feeling” suggest that Arnold is not a cold-blooded person? ORGANIZATION: Here is a sample comment on problem with organization: You bring up the Carnivore system within your introduction, but the definition of the Carnivore system does not appear until the end of paragraph 2. Do you think that you should briefly explain what this system is in your introduction so that the idea will be clearer to the reader? You may find the link below helpful when thinking about organization: http://writing.colostate.edu/references/processes/peerreview/organization.cfm

The site above lists these questions about the organization of an essay: . Is there a clearly stated purpose/objective? . Are there effective transitions? . Are the introduction and conclusion focused on the main point of the essay? . Could a reader easily follow your flow of ideas? . Is each paragraph focused on a single idea? . At any point in the essay, could a reader feel lost or confused?

. Do any of the ideas/paragraphs seem out of order, too early or too late to be as effective as they could?

The site above lists these questions about the organization of the body of the essay: . Does it meet the objective stated in the introduction? . Does it stay focused on this objective or are there places it strays? . Is it organized logically? . Is each paragraph focused on a single idea? . Is each idea thoroughly explained and supported with good evidence? . Are there transitions and are they effective? NOTE: If the student is having a problem in one place, but has handled this issue successfully somewhere else, try to point this fact out. Consider the following sample response: You link your ideas to your thesis quite well in Paragraph 5. Use this paragraph as a guide in checking the other paragraphs.

GRAMMAR: Responding to grammatical / mechanical issues in a student’s paper can be tricky and time consuming. A good rule to abide by: Don’t try to address all of the errors. Focus on 2-3 errors at the most, beginning with the errors that interfere with meaning, such as word order in the sentence, confusing word choice, verb tense, and very confusing spelling. Errors that are less likely to interfere with meaning are article mistakes, comma splices, incorrect preposition choice, pronoun agreement, and minor spelling mistakes. (However, as mentioned in the “HOW TO READ THE ESSAY” section, if a student is consistent in any of these errors, the error and a link to a web site explaining the error should be mentioned in your response.)

The best way to comment on specific grammar errors within the paper is to isolate one or two paragraphs and to comment on errors in those paragraphs. Then ask the student to review the rest of the paper for similar errors, using the paragraphs you have reviewed as guides. Add your “intertext” comments within the essay either in ALL CAPS or by cutting and pasting color or bolding tags from the funky HTML guide within the Forums (click html reference for the popup window).

NOTE: If the student is having a problem in one place, but has handled this issue successfully somewhere else, try to point this fact out. Sample response:

You did a good job with the articles AN and THE in the first sentence of Paragraph 1. Use Paragraph 1 as a guide to review the other paragraphs in your essay.

Sample response for grammar problems for the whole essay: I noticed that you were having some problems with verb tense and articles, so I made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS in the first two paragraphs of the body of your paper. I also provided some links that will make it easier for you to understand how to correct these problems in the rest of your essay. Both of these sites provide links to quizzes so that you can test yourself on these topics.

CONFUSING WORD ORDER IN THE SENTENCE:

Note: The following examples are written in ALL CAPS to show you how they might look within the body of an essay.

IS X THE SUBJECT OF YOUR SENTENCE? I THINK I COULD UNDERSTAND THE SENTENCE BETTER IF YOU PUT THE SUBJECT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SENTENCE. SEE LINK.   Here is a link to a site that has a fun quiz to help you combine words into correct sentences: http://a4esl.org/q/h/vm/m-sco01.html

The link below gives lots of information on improving sentence clarity: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/general/gl_sentclar.html This site discusses going from old to new information, the placement of subordinate clauses, using active voice, parallel constructions, noun strings (avoid them), overusing noun forms of verbs, multiple negatives (avoid them), active verbs, unclear pronoun references.

CONFUSING WORD CHOICE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY X? TRY TO FIND A MORE SPECIFIC WORD FOR X.

CONFUSING SENTENCE STRUCTURE BECAUSE OF TOO MANY WORDS: EXTRA WORDS HERE: WHAT CAN YOU DELETE?

VERB TENSE: WHEN DID THE EVENTS IN THIS PARAGRAPH TAKE PLACE? SEE LINK. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_tensec.html . Do not shift from one tense to another if the time frame for each action or state is the same.

. Do shift tense to indicate a change in time frame from one action or state to another.

. Establish a primary tense for the main discourse, and use occasional shifts to other tenses to indicate changes in time frames. . General guidelines for use of perfect tenses.

. A link to exercises: http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/sequence.htm . Chart with verb tenses listed 

ARTICLE MISTAKES: NEED ARTICLE HERE. SEE LINK : http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/eslart.html The site above discusses the following: . Definition of articles: (1) Indefinite articles a, an (2) Definite article the . Further use of articles: (1) Countable vs. Noncountable (2) First vs. Subsequent Mention (3) General vs. Specific

. Omission of articles ((1) Names of languages and nationalities (2) Names of sports (3) Names of academic subjects

. Links to 2 exercises 

COMMA ERRORS: NEED COMMA HERE: SEE LINK http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/sequence.htm The site above discusses: . 11 rules for using commas

. Links to 4 comma quizzes

UNCLEAR PRONOUN REFERENCE: WHO OR WHAT DOES “THIS” REFER TO? SEE LINK. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/general/gl_sentclar.html The site above has a section called “Avoid unclear pronoun references”.  

SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT ERRORS: DOES THE VERB AGREE WITH THE SUBJECT IN THIS SENTENCE? SEE LINK. http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm . 12 rules for subject-verb agreement

. Links to 3 quizzes:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/eslsubverb.html . 11 rules with a little less explanation than Webster

. Link to exercises.

OTHER GREAT ONLINE SOURCES:

The following list of links should be explored when you have time. They provide some great information that might be useful to you in your responses.

A link to advice for writing tutors and online writing assistants:

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~compose/tutor/advice/assistants.html

A link to writing issues and the writing process:

http://slc.berkeley.edu/slc/nns/l2writing/process/process.htm

Links to working with second language learners / understanding the needs of the ESL student:

http://slc.berkeley.edu/slc/nns/l2writing/tutoring/esltutoring.htm

http://flightline.highline.edu/wac/hierarchy_of_esl_error.htm http://www.eslcafe.com

Links for great grammar sites:

http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/index.htm

http://www.grammarstation.com (Note: users need to register to use this site, but registration is free)

For verb tenses and other grammar issues:

http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/types.html

A link to an online thesaurus. In addition to being a great resource, it’s visually AMAZING and a lot of fun to use. Refer your visual /kinesthetic learners to this one:

http://www.visualthesaurus.com/index.jsp

Links to writing thesis statements:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_thesis.html

http://www.tele.sunyit.edu/thesis_proposal_intro.htm

Specifically for ESL writers concerning thesis statements:

http://www.geocities.com/frankie_meehan/GeneralSpecific1.htm

A new page in tutoring grammar from Diana’s web site:

http://faculty.deanza.edu/alvesdelimadiana/stories/storyReader$634
 Updated Wednesday, October 20, 2004 at 3:32:26 PM by Diana Alves De Lima - alvesdelimadiana@fhda.edu
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